In this new series for Adventures with Crystal, “How to tackle the fears keeping you from traveling solo,” we’re looking at the five most common fears many have before they travel solo.
We started the series out with #1: the Fear of Being Alone and Fear #2: The Fear of Danger. So let’s jump right into #3: the Fear of Not Knowing And Uncertainty.
My other posts have included tips and tricks, but for this one, I thought I’d tell you a personal story, to show you how being uncertain and to travel solo, just like I was and did, is okay.
Parts of this post appeared as part of a travel essay Adventures With Crystal submitted to World Nomads.
Booking the ticket to Costa Rica
I was sweating when I hit “confirm.” It’s a rush of adreneline and one part of me is yelling, “Go for it!” while the other part of me is yelling, “Turn back.”
I don’t turn back. It was time to finally travel solo.
My round-trip tickets to Costa Rica now officially booked. And I was overwhelmed. So overwhelmed. And scared.
I had no idea what it would be like to be in Costa Rica. And when going somewhere on your own? That’s the point of the journey. To find out.
Why I decided to travel solo
I didn’t decide right away. A part of me felt like going somewhere far and across the ocean by myself was a goal that won’t likely be accomplished.
But why did it seem so bad?
As a journalist, I’ve traveled across the United States for work, but for whatever ridiculous reason, traveling alone in a foreign place terrified me. Illogical, but true.
At first, family and friends thought I was reckless to go on a “daring,” unfamiliar adventure by myself. Take my passport, collect stamps alone? How absurd, they said.
But let me also admit this.
I secretly enjoyed telling people I was about to jet off to the unknown and uncharted, alone. Although I came across as fierce and, well, pretty badass, behind the scenes, I was filled with anxiety. The “foreign” part of “foreign travel” meant I would see and experience what I could not at home, and I didn’t know what to expect. Which scared me.
Except, being scared is sometimes what we need to feel before we make the first step.
Arriving in San Jose, Costa Rica
It’s a quiet Wednesday when I land in
I take a joy ride around San Jose in my rental car before heading to the first hostel. Even with a rough itinerary, my calendar is wide open for any inspiration, whims, and delights. As I made random left and right
It feels good to be free of any responsibilities or expectations away from my normal rushed lifestyle. This is an adventure bound by no time.
When it started to feel better being alone
I didn’t think I would ever be okay being busy… but how would I have known? I was always busy, too busy to know.
The next morning when I wake up, my worries from the night before quiet down.
It’s partially because I realized the plans for the first night in Costa Rica were uncertain. And yet, I was able to do a simple google search on a couple of nearby restaurants, and let my gut, not my mind, lead.
There was no certainty about the restaurant choice. A flip of the coin, going in blind. And still, it was truly one of the favorite meals I’ve had in life.
Feeling uncertain will be a good feeling
In a way, you can’t plan for a solo trip, really plan it, until you’re really there. And is there anything more delightful, any way to feel more alive, than to be met with something unexpected? A surprise you never planned is one of the biggest delights of being alive.
Quickly during my solo trip, I also discovered some new favorites. Discovery, is good.
My favorite Tico (Costa Rican) breakfast is chicken-rice, eggs, and beans, called Arroz con Pollo. I can barely pronounce it correctly, but servers are sympathetic to my language awkwardness. Strangers are much kinder than many of us are willing to believe. Especially if you’re polite and willing to learn.
The “Pura Vida” lifestyle — “pure life” in Spanish — means there’s no rush. This is one of the first times in my life where I sip, not chug, my coffee. And I didn’t know that was possible for me.
Everything slows down when you decide to pay attention.
And by the way, it’s easier to pay attention to your surroundings when you’re alone.
It was being by myself when I notice details I often ignore, down to the scent of the Costa Rica coffee, which tastes less bitter than what I drink in the states. There’s something about coffee from the country that feels so
I actually tasted the coffee because I wasn’t doing anything else, and I didn’t have to worry about anyone else.
I soak and savor every bit, and I wonder how I can bring this feeling back home, and how I can teach myself to embrace going slow. And accepting all the things I don’t know.
Suddenly, it’s addicting, this unknown. Because all you actually know that there’s beauty in the unseen. There’s a beauty when a plot twist comes, a blessing out of nowhere, a curse that turns into a blessing. There’s grace in finding what was once not even imaginable.
It’s so breathtaking
I go to La Fortuna de San Carlos, the spot with one of the most active volcanoes. It’s breathtaking. I stop to stare and take photographs.
Each click of my camera and each breath I inhale and exhale feels purposeful. I’m present. And without distractions, I really am beginning to see and feel it all.
I’m convinced I was more awestruck by the nature around me because I felt surrounded by it, alone.
But it wasn’t scary, this being alone.
Because I didn’t have to take in people’s moods and thoughts all around me, I was beginning to see myself. That realization is worth the flight alone.
I began to embrace being alone
The next days on my solo trip are spent on calm, clear beaches along the Costa Rica Pacific shore.
I go to Flamingo beach, a spot I never researched, but discover after a local restaurant owner gives me the recommendation.
I’m beginning to find the unplanned thrilling. And I know one of the reasons I even got the recommendation was because I was enjoying my meal at the bar alone, and the bartenders and wait staff seemed to want to make more friendly conversation with me because they saw me sitting by myself. People are kinder than we know.
And there is so much to learn from others when you are by yourself.
The beach is all mine when I pull over on the side of the road and climb down some rocky banks to finally sink my toes in the sand.
I get into the ocean, and it feels like the water pulls me in, for some sort of healing. Even with the clear waters, the ocean is earth’s unknown. I’m calm.
The water seemingly washes away much of my grief and disappointments from home; those life events happening thousands of miles away. I feel safe and embraced, despite only having nature and that salty water surround me. And who knows what else.
It’s not that I’ve never swum in an ocean before, but there’s something about taking a barely-planned trip that feels so liberating. It’s the freedom to enjoy what I did not plan.
There’s something about stepping into these vast ocean waters that solidify even more: I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I’m really here.
For all my fears about traveling solo, wow. This is truly it. I made it and this is pure, rewarding joy.
The unknown isn’t worth fear. And even when my mind takes over, and it wants to plan every minute of the itinerary to feel more at ease
So, make room for what you haven’t imagined.
Fear does not stop death, it stops life
Why waste time by living in constant fear of what you don’t know, what you can’t feel or see just yet?
Some of the best things in life? They’re yet to be discovered.
If I could repeat my Costa Rica trip
I learned it was time to just jump and land where I may.
The adventure continues,
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