In this new series for Adventures with Crystal, “How to tackle the fears keeping you from traveling solo,” I’ll address the five most common fears many female solo travelers have when thinking about going on their own.
We started the series out with #1: the Fear of Being Alone. And so the series continues with Fear #2: The Fear of Danger
This post will also include practical tips and tricks to keep yourself safe, and that pep talk you may need to reassure yourself everything is okay.
Of all the fears I wish I could eliminate from the list, this is the one. Because it seems this fear is the biggest show stopper.
Let me start by saying, while this is a very real fear for women (and men!), the constant questions about safety seem to irk me the most.
“Is it safe?” “Is it dangerous?”
Is it okay if we take a moment to pause and think about what we really mean?
As one of my good friends, a solo female traveler vented online, “SUCH an obnoxious/patronizing/xenophobic thing to say.” She’s clearly more irked that I am.
What my friend means for the bold statement is, having this fear of other cultures, this subtly worry about people of different ethnicities, races and other ways of life, just seems like a prejudice way of thinking, and maybe a waste of precious time for the one grand life we have to live, while we can.
I agree these are sometimes are valid concerns.
And yet, unless you’re planning to enter what’s clearly a war zone or a politically-torn area, can we stop asking if other places around the world are too dangerous
Proactively, you can find ways to officially double check the country before you book the flight. Go to the US Department of State Bureau of Consular Affairs Travel Advisories to get a feel of the country or place you are visiting. This resource should help you decide what’s doable and what’s not.
To receive updated Travel Advisories and Alerts, choose the method that works best for you at travel.state.gov/stayingconnected
So with some of these official resources, I want women to feel empowered to choose their destinations when discovering the world and seeing places they’ve never been.
But it seems sometimes there is this irrational fear that perhaps it is safer to play, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your golden hair,” is one that really ruins the beautiful “Carpe Diem,” that Seize the Day, that makes life all the more beautiful. What a time to be alive.
Frankly, I don’t want any of us lady travelers to buy into the storyline that to live a good life, it needs to be a safe life and stuck inside some ivory tower, in hopes maybe a someday prince will take us on vacation and keep us extra safe.
It sounds silly reading that, doesn’t it?
When I think about the choices I can make, I often think about walking by the Fearless Girl statue in the Wall Street area, as she faces head-on the
I want it to be like this when women think about traveling. Courageous, and full of Badass’ery.
What are some safety tips for solo travelers?
Sunrise, Sunset: I rarely stay out too late when traveling by myself. And despite my major night owl tendencies, when traveling, I often end the night writing in my diary, reading, and then getting a beautiful headstart to the next day when the sun rises. Traveling to local markets, hiking, checking out destinations, all great things to do earlier in the day. When it gets later, say beyond 10:30 p.m., if I don’t find a nice place to sit or eat, it’s time to head back for me. I can go out late when I return home, with friends. I’ve never regretted going to bed too early while traveling.
Don’t get drunk, especially when alone: This one seems obvious because I also don’t do this in New York City where I live, despite how many people are around. Alcohol, we know, can make things sloppy, and the so-called “liquid courage” may inspire some recklessness. It’s always safer to have your sense of surroundings in a state that isn’t impaired to keep you on your toes for any situation that may or may not happen. The rule I usually stick to, no matter where I am, if alone, is 2 drinks. And to make sure to strike up a friendly conversation with the bartender. Same rules apply no matter where you are, home or away, don’t leave your drinks unattended. The inhibition from alcohol might keep your guard down, so chances are you might get lost easier, and that’s not a good call after sunset. None of this to say don’t enjoy yourself, just keep it at a level where it’s not too much.
Speak up. Someone is making you uncomfortable? Don’t sacrifice your own comfort to make someone else feel better. Be loud, “Please, Leave Me Alone,” or “I’m really not interested in talking.” Tell the server, bartender, whoever, “This person is bothering me.” Safety is not something worth being bashful. If you have to? Yell. Another safety thought. Sometimes when I feel like someone is walking too closely, I’m not shy about saying, “Go ahead, after you!” And they’re free to walk in front of me. It’s a polite way of making sure anything you question is right in front of you – or frankly just cross the street.
No headphones. If you’re insistent about music, one earbud in, on low volume is okay. You should always be able to hear the footsteps, cars, people around you, at all times. Day or Night.
Connect with locals. In my experience, any time I’ve made a stop at a restaurant, cafe, hole-in-the-wall, wherever, I keep an eye out for other women. Women are really good at looking after other women. Those are conversations definitely worth striking because familiarity also means you’re not alone, and someone has your back.
Carry a doorstop. I usually deadbolt my doors, and sometimes if I don’t have a doorstop on me, I’ll prop a chair against the door, facing forward, right underneath the handle, so that if somehow it opens, the chair will fall or at least signal. That’s a pretty intense precaution, but I’ve realized it’s also given me peace of mind and I sleep easier. To that end, I don’t like to be on the first floor no matter where I’m traveling, especially if the first floor is easily accessible by the street. Hotels are usually very accommodating when I ask to be on a higher floor. And that’s another thing to note. If you feel ANY nervousness or fear, just ask! This isn’t a moment to worry about
Just leave. Trust your instincts. Something feels weird or off? Believe yourself. Don’t second guess your intuition, and don’t be afraid to just leave, book another hotel, go to another restaurant or tour, whatever you want and feel you need.
Why it’s only perceived danger
By the numbers, a survey by global experts cited in Haaretz (a publication in Isreal) has the United States on their top 10 list of most dangerous countries for women. You may not have expected the United States to be on the dangerousness list, but that goes to show, precautions apply no matter where you are.
Here’s what they explained:
10. UNITED STATES – The only Western nation in the top 10 and joint third with Syria for the risks women face in terms of sexual violence, including rape, sexual harassment, coercion into sex and a lack of access to justice in rape cases. The survey came after the #MeToo campaign went viral last year, with thousands of women using the social media movement to share stories of sexual harassment or abuse.
Frankly, most places are relatively “dangerous” if you’re not cautious; most places are “safe” if you’re aware of your surroundings, respectful and friendly. This spectrum of what’s possible is true, no matter where you are or where you’re going.
So can we all work on getting this fear together?
Can we unite female travelers and encourage or nudge our fellow sisters to assess situations, but find a spot that feels comfortable, and finally, and just go?!
But really, embrace the trip.
Trust yourself to know if there was any doubt, you wouldn’t put yourself in harms way. And if you have a moment where you second guess, follow the safety tips above for solo travelers.
Don’t let these fears stop you from living your life. Even if there are normal travel hiccups, it’s likely you will not regret being brave, and you surely won’t regret just going.
The adventure continues,
Make sure to Subscribe to this Blog to get updates as the series continues on how to tackle all of your solo traveling fears!
Affiliate links may be used in some posts from Adventures With Crystal. If a purchase is made through one of these links, we make a small commission, at no cost to you. This allows us to continue creating free content for our readers!
